Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize