I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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