He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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