just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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