It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
