sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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