that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
