There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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