I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize