I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Boobs speak an international language.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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