Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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