I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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