the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
