I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Randomize
