the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
