she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
