he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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