Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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