Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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