somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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