Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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