Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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