Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
