Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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