I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
