just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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