I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
