I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize