im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
