Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
