How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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