hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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