I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
