The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
