I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
