hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am midnight drunk by noon
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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