i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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