considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
