i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
