I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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