I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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