I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
