wake up i wanna do it froggy style
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
