I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
