The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
