I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
