I didn't shave. On purpose
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
