Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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