I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sorry about my life...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
