what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
