Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
