im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
