We won't sleep together?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
nutella sex= disaster
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
