Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
