Are we in a gay sports bar?
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
