Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
