The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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