I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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