Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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