Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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