I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
