You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
