He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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