Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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