I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
