Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
