is your mom at the bar?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
