do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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