I think i peed on brittanys purse
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
