Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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