i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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