So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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